Battle of the Prequels: The Ex-Heroes Strike Back
by Katia2
Summary: Sequel to Battle of the Prequels...George Lucas is hunting for a new generation of characters. Meanwhile, Luke and the others plot their revenge!


Battle of the Prequels: The Ex-Heroes Strike Back  
By Katia  
katias_box@hotmail.com  
Disclaimer: Well here's a news flash: I didn't create Star Wars. This story expands on characters and   
situations created by George Lucas, and no money is being made. Enjoy!  
Warning: This is a lot better if you read Battle of the Prequels first.  
  
Act One  
SCENE ONE  
(The scene opens in a conference room. Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Lando, and Wedge are sitting   
around a table drinking coffee and hot chocolate and looking generally put out.)  
  
Han: Man, that George Lucas guy gets my goat.  
  
Wedge: Yeah, he thinks just because he created us, he can do whatever he wants to us!  
  
Luke: I can't believe he's making more Star Wars movies, and we're not in them. I'm supposed to be   
the brave and glorious hero, darn it! How can there be a Star Wars movie without us in it?  
  
Lando: Well he did offer us parts.  
  
Luke: Lando, if you don't have anything constructive to say then don't talk.  
Now what are we going to do about this, guys?  
  
(Chewie roars emphatically.)  
  
Han: I don't think that will work, Chewie. The AT-ST's have been confiscated.  
  
(Disappointed growl.)  
  
Han: Sorry, Pal. It's a good idea though.  
  
Leia: Anyone else? (Awkward silence.) Come on, anything at all?  
  
Lando: Eureka! I've got it!  
  
Luke: What is it *this* time, Calrissian?  
  
Lando: I actually have a great idea! Listen...  
  
SCENE TWO  
(Meanwhile, approximately 35 years in the past, on the planet Naboo...)  
  
George: Having travelled back to the past, my actors and I will now search   
for more characters for my new movies!  
  
Obi-Wan: I feel young again! (Looks down) Hey! I *am* young again!   
(Some girl whistles.) Who was that?  
  
George: The author, Katia.  
  
Obi-Wan: Oh.  
  
(Amidala approaches)  
  
Amidala: Good afternoon, gentlemen. I received your message from the future  
and I want you to know, I will be more than happy to help you with your movie.  
  
George: Hey, great! That was easy!  
  
Amidala: I'll be needing an ensemble of deceptively cute bodyguards, a large  
palace with fountains, a military squadron complete with fighter pilots and ships,  
my own personal space yacht, grey interior if that's all right, a new and   
elaborate wardrobe, a hairdresser with lots of experience, and a retired   
makeup artist from hollywood. (The others stare at her in shock.)  
  
George: Well, maybe not as easy as I thought...but it can be done! (They   
shake on it.)  
  
Yoda: Hmmph. Space yachts...fighter pilots...any Jedi craves not these things!  
  
Katia: Hey guys! I hate to interrupt this, but I have a question. What *do*   
Jedi crave?  
  
Yoda: Three scoops of strawberry-pistacchio ice cream with fudge sauce and  
a cherry.  
  
Katia: I knew it! (Produces Yoda's ice cream.) Here you go, sir!  
  
Yoda: Wow! Thanks!  
  
Amidala: AHEM! Can we get back to ME?  
  
Katia: Right. Sorry. (leaves)  
  
SCENE THREE  
(Luke and Crew have arrived on Naboo. Hey, that rhymes!)  
  
Luke: So who's this friend you want us to meet, Lando?  
  
Lando: He's just over here...  
  
(Suddenly who should appear but Jar-Jar Binks!)  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesah called Jar-Jar Binks!  
  
Lando: I know that, toast for brains! Guys, this is Jar-Jar. He's as   
annoying as Threepio and twice as stupid. I vote we impose him on George.   
The prequels will be ruined! (General cheering.)  
  
Luke: Hey Lando, you're not as dumb as I thought!  
  
Lando: (grinning) Trust me buddy, no one is as dumb as *you* think...(Luke   
tries to figure out if he has been insulted or not.)  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesah you's humble servant!  
  
Lando: Yeah, yeah, I've heard this before if you recall. Go tell that guy.  
(Indicates George. Jar-Jar trots over. George sees him but not the others.)  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesah called Jar-Jar Binks. Mesah you's humble servant!  
  
George: Hey, great. I need all of those I can get! C'mon! (George, Obi-Wan,   
Yoda, Palpatine, Amidala, Jar-Jar, and the droids board George's ship and   
they take off. Luke and Crew emerge from hiding.)  
  
Leia: (Snickering.) We did it!  
  
Han: That was *too* easy.  
  
Luke: You complaining?  
  
Han: Nope!  
  
Leia: So what now?  
  
Luke: Dunno. Han? What now?  
  
Han: I don't care. Chewie?  
  
(Indifferent growl)  
  
Lando: Nope. How about you, Wedge?  
  
Wedge: Don't ask me. Hey Katia!  
  
Katia: What?  
  
Wedge: We don't know what to do now!  
  
Katia: Tell you what, you guys have been great. Why don't you take the rest  
of the night off.  
  
Luke: All right! C'mon Wedge, let's hit the Strip Club!  
  
Han: Hey, what about me?  
  
Leia: (Grabs him by the collar.) You're coming with me, flyboy.  
  
Han: Oh...okay!  
  
(Lando and Chewie are left alone. They look at each other.)  
  
Katia: Come on guys, let's go back to my house. I want to show you a movie...  
  
Finito 


End file.
